The Vile Scourge of Naziphobia

1941

It has come to my attention that a surprisingly large number of people are expressing an unreasoning and racist hatred of Nazis.  This ‘Naziphobia’ is unworthy of an enlightened western society, and I call on all those of good spirit to help stamp it out.

Some complain about the Nazis executing large numbers of Jews by throwing them into gas chambers.  But really, there are today many millions of Nazis in Europe.  At any one time only a tiny fraction of these Nazis are throwing Jews into gas chambers – the vast majority are driving trucks and going to school and playing with their families, even as are we.  It hardly seems fair to condemn an entire culture because of a few bad apples.  Besides, western so-called ‘civilization’ has had it’s own extremists: Torquemada, Caligula, Vlad the Impaler, Justin Bieber, and so on.  We are hardly in a position to pass judgment upon the Nazis.

If in fact a few Nazis are acting badly, I blame the campaign of vilification, which has been waged upon them.  I mean, imagine some young Nazi, who only wants to do his job and settle down and raise a family.  Every day this poor Nazi encounters hostile microaggressions from Jews and Poles and even Frenchmen, and he must listen on the radio to that horrible xenophobic racist Winston Churchill and other far-right politicians comparing them to wild beasts.  Is it any wonder that sometimes the Nazis lash out?  I blame those intolerant haters for inflaming the situation.

Now many populist demagogues in countries like Poland and France want to close the door on the Nazis, and prevent them from entering.  Some of the more extreme compare the immigration of Nazis to an ‘invasion,’ a ludicrous and hateful charge. These young and hard-working Nazis only want to make a better life for themselves and their children, and by increasing the labor supply their entry will be good for the economy.  Only those consumed by fear and hatred of other people wish to barricade themselves in their countries, but of course that cannot work – not only is it morally wrong to prevent people from moving where they will, it is impossible.  Barriers and armies never work, and fear is a poor guide to the future.

I also hear complaints that when the Nazis move into another country, that they do not assimilate but rather set up their own laws.  Well I can only say that how can we judge our laws to be better than theirs?  The Nazis feel very strongly about their culture and we must respect that. Perhaps we can learn from them.  Certainly adding Nazis to our nation will enrich that multiculturalism which is so vital to human progress.  In any event the notion that the Nazis have set up  ‘no go’ areas where Jews and homosexuals fear to go, is an urban myth with no substance to it at all.

It is said that the Nazis should be condemned because they routinely preach hatred of Jews and Gypsies and Slavs.  I note that the great philosopher, Karl Popper, has commented on the ‘paradox of tolerance,’ noting that a tolerant society must actually be intolerant towards those expressing intolerance.  Therefore we must be intolerant of those expressing hatred towards the Nazis, and do everything in our power to suppress their vile maxims.  Saying that you hate the Nazis because they hate the Jews is hatred, pure and simple, and I for one will not put up with it.

Recently there was a report of some Nazis killing a few gypsies in a theater in Paris.  Now as regrettable as this isolated action was, the real threat is of an anti-Nazi backlash.  Doubtless this is the plan of the extremist elements within the Nazi party: to fuel the fires of hatred, thus creating a war between the Nazis and everyone else.  We must not allow these sorts of things to poison the well of friendship: we must use this as a spur to redouble our efforts at creating a world free of bigotry ad intolerance.

We must build bridges to the Nazis, and welcome them with open arms.  I call upon all media outlets to join me in banning any and all ‘hate speech’ that aims to inflame tensions with the Nazis, and the laws against anyone slandering the Nazis must be rigorously enforced.

Nazism is a philosophy of peace – the leader of the Nazi party, Adolph Hitler, has often said this, and so it must be true. 

On another note I have recently heard of something called “Godwin’s Law,” but I refuse to give it any credence.  I stand by “Jerner’s Law,” which says that there is no work of fiction that cannot be improved by adding Nazis – and that many works of nonfiction can be so improved, as well.

And after we have rid the world of the scourge of Naziphopia, we must then work even harder to fight against cancer phobia, rabid-dog phobia, falling-down-stairs phobia, rape phobia, arsenic-phobia, and all those other irrational phobias that so bedevil us all.